He wins, okay? Meaty Monday it is.

I tried.

Really, y'all, I tried. Well, okay, I thought about trying. That counts, right?

My coworker gave me another Weight Watchers recipe for those yummy lettuce cups like you get at PF Changs. The catch is, her version called for meatless soy vegetarian crumbles (in place of ground beef). She swore it was delicious. I mean, swore up and down. And I saw her eating it for lunch at work, so I know this wasn't just some practical joke and she was trying to get me to make a terrible recipe.

I even bought the Morningstar Thingamadoogles at Bi-Lo last night (as B wandered around behind me saying, "Are you SURE you don't want to try it with ground beef or turkey?").

But see, last week was a busy week. And last weekend was a very busy and slightly inebriated weekend - it was my bachelorette party. Five bridesmaids cramming with me into B's apartment (which, sadly, is larger than my townhome), a lovely Saturday at the spa, fun bachelorette games (I ROCKED The Almost-Newlywed Game, y'all!), piles of lingerie, an amazing dinner and drinks out with some of the best girlfriends I could ask for. I'm the luckiest bride-to-be on the planet.

But I'm also getting a little cold or something, and was flat-out exhausted yesterday. That carried over. I went to the dentist today, and I legitimately fell asleep in the chair while waiting on the dentist to come do the final inspection. Seriously. Since I used to have panic attacks every time I had to go to the dentist as a kid, my mother thinks this is fantastic progress, but frankly I think it shows just how tired I am. Who falls asleep at the DENTIST?!

To make a long story short, I got to about 3:00 today before I gave up and texted B saying, "I give. You win. I don't want fake meat lettuce wraps." I had found this recipe here. His response? "Are you sure? We have some extra cardboard here at the office I can bring home, too."

ANYway. Once my comedian of a fiance got that out of his system, he was very, very happy I decided on chicken for our lettuce wraps and even agreed to bring egg rolls from our favorite Chinese restaurant to accompany them. WIN.

As were the lettuce wraps. This picture below - well, you're lucky to get it. I was so tired and spazzy I forgot to take pics as I was cooking. And I forgot to take a pic of the finished product until I was already one lettuce wrap and half an egg roll into the meal. #fail

These were ridiculously easy, but my favorite thing about this is that they're -- guess what? -- customizable. Add or remove veggies as you see fit. Kick up the spice level a notch (we did, of course), or make it mild. Play around to your heart's content.

And if you ever get the urge to try the meatless "ground beef" crumbles, please, by all means, let me know how it goes.

Meaty chicken lettuce wraps

Ingredients:
3 tablespoons oil
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 cup water chestnuts, diced finely
2/3 cup mushrooms, diced finely
1 cup cabbage or coleslaw mix (we used slaw mix, cause it had carrots too)
1 teaspoon minced garlic
scallion onions
Bibb lettuce cups

Special sauce:
1/4 cup sugar (I didn't have any, so I used some Splenda packets...oops)
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
2 tablespoons ketchup
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon sesame oil
1 tablespoon hot mustard (we used a little packet from the Chinese restaurant)
1/2 teaspoon red chili paste

Stir Fry Sauce:
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon rice wine vinegar

Directions:
To make the special sauce, dissolve sugar in water in a small bowl. Add soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, ketchup, lemon juice, and sesame oil, hot mustard and chili paste.
Bring 3 tablespoons of oil to high heat in a wok or large frying pan.
Add chicken breasts and saute 4-5 minutes per side, or until done. Be careful doing this - the oil REALLY splattered.
Once chicken is cooked, remove from pan and let cool.
Mince water chestnuts and mushrooms until they're about the size of small peas.
Make stir fry sauce by mixing the soy sauce, brown sugar, and rice vinegar together in a small bowl.
When chicken is cool, mince until the size of mushrooms and water chestnuts.
With the pan still on high heat, add another tablespoon of vegetable oil.
Add chicken, garlic, water chestnuts, mushrooms, and coleslaw mix to pan.
Add stir fry sauce and saute until well-mixed.
Serve in Bibb lettuce cups and sprinkle with scallions.
Enjoy