For a long time, I actually really liked New Year's. My job sucked, I was lonely, and each new calendar year that passed was an opportunity for things to get better.
But then in 2011, I met this guy. And in 2013, he asked me to be his wife. And that New Year's Eve was the first time I had a little bit of dread on December 31st. Even though we were to be married the following April, it was hard to let go of that wonderful year in which we got engaged (and adopted our sweet Luna).
Last year's New Year's Eve, 2014, was even harder, though at the time we had a little secret: we knew, at that point, that we would be moving to France sometime this year, even though we hadn't told anyone except our parents yet because the details were still so tentative. But it still hurt to let go of our wedding year.
And now, somehow, impossibly, the time has come to say goodbye to 2015, with no international (mis)adventures or upcoming nuptials to look forward to.
I'm a little sad. But I'm also a lot excited. We've had a lot of high expectations for the past two years, and it's almost a relief to head into January with no big plans or stressors. Instead of the big wedding day or moving day to look forward to, we can instead anticipate a quiet weeknight, cooking dinner together and then maybe playing the train game before snuggling on the couch with the dog. It's a blank slate, and we can do with it what we want - even if all we want this year is our small, quiet, happy life together here in Greenville.
I don't do New Year's resolutions because I think they're stupid, but someone once suggested having a "word of the year," such as peace, or joy, or harmony. For 2016, I think my word is going to be small. Small moments, small gifts, small days...which we will eventually look back on and realize were the big, important moments, gifts, and days (for further reading on this, check out Emily P. Freeman's Simply Tuesday). Small isn't negative. Small is good. Small is going to be my word.
Whatever you've lost or are letting go of with 2015, whatever word of hope you choose for 2016, may it be a beautiful and blessed one. Love to you all.
E, B, & Luna